


You Could Still Be...

by silent_deadly



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Band, Angst and Feels, Exes to almost friends, Hopeful Ending, Light Angst, M/M, Making Up, Post-Break Up, Sad and Sweet, Sad with a Happy Ending, Set in a cafe, maybe? - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-11
Updated: 2017-12-11
Packaged: 2019-02-13 14:25:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,701
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12985962
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silent_deadly/pseuds/silent_deadly
Summary: Things had gone downhill for them long ago. For five years they managed to not run into each other until they did. Now Frank and Gerard are forced by their own hearts to spend some time together after years of missing out.





	You Could Still Be...

**Author's Note:**

> The title is taken from 'Medicine' by Daughter. This is just completely random but I hope you enjoy it.

He arrived at the cafe way earlier than the time they had both planned, hoping to calm his nerves waiting rather than be thrown headfirst into the conversation in a strange place. Frank was the one who suggested this coffee shop stating it’s his favorite to just relax in and Gerard knew the reason as soon as he stepped through the door.  The aroma of strong coffee was what hit him first. The soft music was lingering in the cafe just enough to fill the silence, ‘Wonderwall’ by Oasis, was the one being played at the moment. He couldn’t keep the smile away from his face as he looked around the cafe humming along with the song, there were a bunch of sweets and snacks arranged carefully towards a corner. The couches, chairs and tables all arranged diligently so that it didn’t seem so crowded in the small space. 

Getting a strong black coffee he walked towards a couch at the corner big enough to seat maybe three people each on both the sides, he felt as if they might need that space between them. He removed his slightly damp coat and untied the scarf from around his neck, it was pretty chilly out, remnants of winter as it slowly called for spring.  He sat down staring at the streets watching the people move about in the slight drizzle. He often just looked at the way everyone carried themselves, looking at the way someone walked you could learn so much about their inner struggles or confidence. He found it intriguing, often trying his best to show that in his sketches. Right now though, he wasn’t focused on the people, he couldn’t be, not when he was about see Frank after too long. 

It’s been well over five years since they last saw each other. Both of them running in entirely different circles in a big city like this to ever just run into each other accidentally. But recently engaged Mikey had come all the way to New York so that he could tell his close friends and family about it over dinner. It was then that they saw each other again, exchanging numbers with a promise to reconnect. A week later there he was, about to meet him, all alone.  He had hoped maybe he could’ve seen Frank around when they called it quits with Frank being a really close friend of Mikey. But as fate would have it, Mikey and his girlfriend moved out to LA not that long after his breakup. He still remembers the loneliness that plagued him for almost two years after that, the shock of losing who he thought was his true love and the pain of not being able to see his brother whenever he wished, was all together heart breaking. 

He wasn’t really a recluse, he had enough friends, hell he even dated after that here and there, but no one ever really understood his random mood swings. The way he’d abandon whatever he was doing if he got an idea, the way he’d shout, scream or maybe even cry whenever hit with writers block. Usually everyone gets tired of the ‘fucked-up artist’ after a while. But  Frank had understood, he even found it endearing and him and Mikey would always cover for him. Without them, he slowly started losing the friends he had. The people he dated never stayed long enough, nether did he want them to. Loneliness was always constant after that. Self doubt was often his noisy bed mate, never letting him sleep for almost two, three years.

“Hey..” an almost whisper was what rocked him out of his head, looking up he found Frank standing there still bundled up in his jacket with a small smile that had his lip just a little turned up in the corner. His nose and cheeks were red from the walking in the cold, eyes focused completely on Gerard.

“Frank. Hey.” Gerard said standing up walking behind him to help with his jacket just to escape Frank’s gaze for a few seconds.

“Am I-”, “Should I-” Both of them stated together. Gerard refrained himself from speaking to let Frank continue. It seemed as though Frank himself had the same idea. Clearing his throat Frank was the one who finally spoke up after a few moments of uncomfortable silence that seemed to last way longer than it actually did. “I’m just.. I’ll go and get me a coffee. Do you want a refill? Or something to chew on?” 

“Nah, I’m good, I’ll just, you can just go and get yourself one.” He said averting his eyes as he sat down cursing at himself for sounding so rude, or indifferent or whatever it was that he sounded like, mostly a moron. He’s almost 35, he shouldn’t be so awkward when it comes to meeting with his exes. But Frank wasn’t just another ex, he used to be Gerard confidant, his partner in crime, losing him as his closest friend was what hurt Gerard more than losing him as a lover.  He managed to bring a smile on his face as Frank sat down in front of him, cradling his cup in both of his hands. 

“It’s really chilly out for this time of the year huh?” As soon as the question slipped out he really had to force himself to not face palm. Talking about weather with the guy who’s seen him naked more times than he can count is just a bit awkward. 

“I dare say it is Gerard.” Frank replied with a raised eyebrow, a hint of amusement he couldn’t keep out bleed into his words and his smile. The amusement slowly morphed into quiet giggles as Gerard groaned out load, which caused Frank to laugh a little louder. “Sorry, sorry, it’s just.. I mean weather? Really?” He stated in between giggles. 

“It just slipped out.” He replied with a glare which lost it’s heat as Frank went into another bout of laughter at that. Soon enough the laughter died down, with just the music to fill their rather awkward silence. Neither of them had anything to add to make it comfortable other than taking small sips from their coffee, and trying to form a proper sentence. 

“I never thought it’ll ever be this difficult to talk to you.” Gerard finally said after a few minutes of silent sipping and staring out the window. He saw Frank’s shoulder droop slightly as he heard his words.

“Me neither. Even when we were texting about this I was freaking the fuck out. I mean I’m allowed to.” He said with a smile. “What do you propose we talk about?” 

“How about we just catch up? What’s been going on with you the past five years?” 

“Nothing too drastic, i guess. I finally started the record label I wanted to, it’s doing not too bad, given that most artists I’m signing are usually in the Rock genre and sadly enough, these days very few people enjoy it anymore. Other than that…” Frank had his head resting on his right palm as he thought of anything else to add, “Oh yeah, I have a lot more tattoos, since that’s what you were most obsessed about if I remember it correctly.”

“Hey! I wasn’t  _ obsessed _ . I just appreciated it.” Gerard replied with a very fake offended voice he could muster. Frank scoffed loudly at that. 

“A bit too much appreciation if you ask me. Tell me about you? I know about your comics and the novel, what else transpired?” 

“You know about my work?” Gerard asked genuinely shocked, he didn’t think that Frank would be interested in his work after all the drama.

“Of course I do! I love your work! Just because we broke up that doesn’t mean I’d stop enjoying it. I mean don’t get me wrong, for a while it was very hard to see your name, or read your stories and not be able to share my thoughts with you. But after a while, it was easier to read than to ignore. And I never lied when I said I’m your biggest fan Gee!”  Gerard froze at the confession, mostly because of the name Frank called him, something he hadn’t heard in so long. A pang of nostalgia and loneliness surged forward drowning him in it as he looked down into his empty cup.

“Hey! What’s wrong?” Frank asked, concerned at the sudden change, from easy smile to stony poker face just as good as Mikey’s.

“I just..” With a sigh, he decided to just go with the truth, “The nickname, haven’t heard that for a long time, I missed it.” _ I missed you _ , remained unspoken. 

“It just slipped out. I was trying hard to stop it from the start. I.. I..” Frank tried to continue, to say something, to make it better. But all he could do was let out a sigh and slump back into the couch. After another long stretch of silence, this time filled with a tension that neither could really comprehend, Frank said in a soft voice, “What went wrong Gee?” ‘ _ What did I do wrong?’  _ was what he wanted to ask.

All Gerard could do was look down again, groaning inwardly and try to form some sentences, “I don’t know, I don’t know what went wrong. The timing wasn’t right, planning a wedding between you getting ready to start a label and me writing my first big novel, it all kind of clashed I guess.” 

“We could’ve just fucking postponed the fucking wedding!” Frank shouted not being able to stop his anger of being thrown away like that, of being forced to forget all the years he put into the relationship, he was just 19 when they got together, Gerard was all he knew in his adult life. “You didn’t have to break me apart like that. I spend years trying to figure out what I did wrong.” he added, a few tears from all the bottled up anger and hurt spilling out before he rubbed them away.

“Oh Frank." Gerard felt his heart break all over again as he heard the words and the saw the tears that accompanied it, "We were fighting all the time, it reached a point where I couldn’t even remember the last time we held each other and said something remotely nice, you lost all will to do what you wanted with your life, so focused in making us right, I couldn’t keep you tied up any longer, I didn’t want to keep being selfish.” 

“You should’ve talked to me for fucks sake. Did you ever think that you were just as important as my work? That I loved you just as much if not more than music?” Anger still spilling out with his words, but he could only play with his sleeves, he didn’t think they’d bring all this up today. He thought it’ll take a few more meetups for that. He wasn’t ready for this. Since it was already happening he wasn't ready to let it go either, to go back to the awkward silence. 

“Frank, we wouldn’t have been able to make it. No matter what we did, at that point we were being pulled apart and I thought I was making it easier on both of us and our work. I knew it’d hurt you, but I thought, I hoped, you’ll hate me less if you had at least your work to go back to.” 

“I wanted to hate you, so much. But I couldn’t. I just.. I just missed you. No matter what I was doing, I just always wished you were there to share all that with me.” 

“I missed you too Frank. More than anything. But I didn’t know if I could ever come up to you.”

“This is so messed up.” He said with a sad laugh. “I thought we were it, you know. Everyone did. When I told my mom that the wedding was off she was so shocked, she thought I was playing a prank and started shouting at me till she heard me cry. The worst part was that she was calling to say that the venue we wanted was finally booked. I never felt that kind of heartbreak before, not even when you actually broke up with me. I guess I only then realized that it was actually over.” 

“I know how you feel. I got the call from the jeweler a week or two after to go and pick up our wedding rings.” 

“Do you… Did you..” Frank started, wanting to ask if he still had them, but scared of getting an answer when he himself doesn’t know what he actually wants to hear. 

“I still have them. Couldn’t part with it. It’s pathetic I guess.” Gerard replied with a sigh as he massaged the back of his neck.

“No it isn’t.” A wave of relief passed through him as he heard that Gerard hadn’t actually thrown it away. “Thank you for keeping it.” Frank added earning him a smile in return. 

"I'm really am I sorry for the way I dealt with it all." Gerard said earnestly.

"You are forgiven. I'm sorry for being too forceful with everything, I know I pushed you way too far." 

"You were already forgiven long ago Frank." Gerard replied. The silence was back again in between them, but somehow it was different now, the heaviness had disappeared, leaving a comfort behind that both of them missed so much.  The streets were much darker now, also a bit more busier. Noticing the time, it was Gerard who spoke up, “I should leave, have a lot more to complete and the deadline is much closer than I’d like it to be.” 

“Yeah sure of course. I’ll see you again?” Frank asked as both of them stood up, putting on their coats and scarfs. 

“Soon.” Gerard said with confidence, he isn’t planning on losing Frank again. Slowly they walked out of the cafe, standing outside the door, both of them stood near each other but far enough to not accidentally brush. 

“Right, I’ll call you, or you call me, I don’t want to disturb you while you are writing.” Frank said in a rush with heat creeping on his face that was definitely not due to the cold, feeling as if somehow he transported back to his younger self from when they first started hanging out together without Mikey as their buffer. 

“I’ll call you, or you can text me, whenever.” Gerard said with a fond smile as memories he buried deep down came rushing back, like a black screen being knocked down and all the ones he kept hidden behind it toppling down like dominoes showing him eveything. “I’m happy we did this.” He added because how couldn’t he be?

“Me too Gee.” Frank added softly, this so wasn’t how he pictured this evening going.  

Gerard wanted to add something to it, but no words were coming to his mind other than the thought that it’s been so fucking long since he held Frank in his arms, so that’s exactly what he did. He walked forward and pulled him into a hug, holding him tightly. Frank was frozen for a moment there, not expecting to be hugged at all, let alone so tightly that he couldn’t even breathe. But soon enough he came out of his stupor and hugged Gerard back just as fiercely. He knew they had a long way to go, but at that moment he couldn’t care less, he’d do anything to be able to listen to Gerard rambling about his stories as he tries to go to sleep, to only be able to quiet him down with a bruising kiss. They slowly parted from their hug, both of them shivering at the sudden loss of the warmth in the cold evening. 

“Bye Frankie.” Gerard said with a smile as he slowly walked back, “Bye Gee.” Frank replied ecstatic for whatever was to come. Both of them finally turned away from each other walking in opposite directions, but their hearts stayed together, just like it always had, from the moment they met.

**Author's Note:**

> Alright, so. This was my first attempt of a short story, and also a fanfic. I usually avoid doing these as I suck at both. SO I combined them and this is the result. I'd really love some feedback, and my nerves would love the even more.


End file.
